Mental Health Awareness: Beyond The Numbers

Why is it important to talk about mental health?

The way I think about it, no person can be healthy without factoring in this part of their health. I can be physically healthy and in the best shape of my life, but if I’m not in the right mental state, great I’ve got a 6-pack but I’m not really healthy.

Why should athletes, specifically, care about mental health awareness and action?

From a performance standpoint we typically focus on the physical side. Yes, I need to be in tip top shape, but if I’m not in a great mental space my performance won’t be what it could be. Your mental space does have a massive impact on your performance, and athletes need to be more aware of that.

What do you do to look after your own mental health?

Not enough! I feel like that’s the first part. I journal from time to time, either on my phone or in a physical journal, and that really helps me when I do it. My wife and my sister are amazing, and having conversations with them help to give me perspective and make sure I’m seeing the full picture. They boost me up and keep me grounded. I’ve seen a therapist in the past, and that was helpful. I hope to make that a more regular thing, but I need to prioritize time for it. One thing that I don’t think is talked about enough with counseling is that it can take time to find the right person that you vibe with. The first time I met with a counselor I didn’t realize that, and I was kind of put off from it because they weren’t a good fit. So I think it’s really important to know that it can take time to find the right person to walk you through whatever you’re going through at that time.

What do you want CRYSC athletes to know about mental health?

You are not healthy if this part of you is not well looked after. As an athlete, spending time on the field means the physical side of your health will be addressed, but you also have to be conscious of the mental side. Make an effort to put time into being mentally healthy as well as physically healthy, and know that – just like physical health – what works for someone else might not work for you. Figure out what “mentally healthy” means for you, and do what you need to do to take care of it.

Why is it important to talk about mental health?

I dealt with depression and anxiety in high school, and I remember specifically sitting in my basement, crying and just crushed because I got cut from the varsity soccer team on my birthday, and I remember my dad just going suck it up. So I lived so many years of my life keeping everything in. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that taking care of myself mentally – finding someone to talk to and being able to express my feelings – really changes everything; not just the way that you look at yourself and look at the world but also your physical health. We go through all of these emotions that even as adults we can’t always pinpoint, and when you can’t pinpoint them they turn into other things; sadness can turn into anger and lashing out or being distant and quiet. That basic conversation of, “Hey I’m feeling sad,” and then talking about why you’re feeling sad allows you to then work through it, which leads to better holistic health.

Why should athletes, specifically, care about mental health awareness and action?

Everything we do in soccer comes from our mind; we just use our bodies to play the game. With soccer, there is a ton of adversity and challenge and rejection. There is increased pressure – from parents, coaches, and athletes themselves – to reach a certain level. Ultimately, emotion is at the center of sport; we don’t just play it because it’s something to do. We have this visceral feeling of love and passion for it, and with that comes spikes of emotion that aren’t always helpful to learning and growth, and that kids don’t know how to regulate. So, as coaches, looking at a player as just an athlete is very outdated. To help a player develop physically, to help them stay in the game and be creative and adventurous and be challenged and improve, all starts with their mental wellbeing.

What do you do to look after your own mental health?

At times I do a really good job and I’m very aware of how I’m feeling, and other times, like when I’m really stressed, not so much. For the longest time I spoke to a therapist biweekly, which was helpful. Now when I’m going through something I talk to my wife and other people in my life that offer different viewpoints and perspectives. I do a lot of reading to relieve stress and educate myself on tools that I can use. I use less direct creative outlets like writing songs or painting to get my thoughts and feelings out. The biggest thing for me is trying to find the why behind my thoughts and feelings. When I know where a reaction stems from, I can recognize it in the moment and then use small bits of self-talk to work through it and feel more like myself.

What do you want CRYSC athletes to know about mental health?

Mental health is the starting point of a great human and a great athlete. Be yourself, and work on being ok with being yourself. Try not to let external forces determine your happiness. Allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling, and then be willing to talk about how you’re feeling with someone you feel safe with.

Why is it important to talk about mental health?

I think there is an assumption that because we are going through the same experience – athletes are playing on the same team, have the same coach, have the same teammates – that our personal experience should be the same across the board. But: Every brain is a different world. Having an awareness of those mental differences, and then sharing our unique world with others, is going to unify us more than separate us.

Why should athletes, specifically, care about mental health awareness and action?

Sport is very much performance / feedback; you make a good pass, you make a bad pass. You score a goal, you don’t score a goal. Kids are constantly getting information about how they are performing, but we need to educate more that the constant feedback you get on the field does not reflect your value as a person. It’s just something that you do. We need to support athletes in becoming more self-aware, so that the feedback that they walk away with after missing a shot isn’t “I suck”, but instead is “Since the ball went wide, my hips must’ve been turned this way, so if I turn them this way instead I’ll get a different result.” If we don’t do that education as coaches, the constant feedback kids get within sport can be really damaging to their mental health.

What do you do to look after your own mental health?

I’m learning to breathe. I remind my athletes all of the time, when you’re tired when you’re stressed when you’re happy when you’re sad, remember to breathe. In through the nose out through the mouth. What has really helped my mental wellbeing, going back to being self-aware, is being less judgmental. I love the idea of stoicism, where you get hit with an energy – whatever it is, positive, negative – and instead of acting on those emotions, you let them settle and observe them. Instead of being a participant to your emotions, of getting caught up in them, you can be an observer. I’ve learned that through meditation. I meditate every morning for 5 or 10 minutes, and it has been really helpful. I also try and spend time in the sunlight and get fresh air. I try and make time for my extracurricular activities that help me recharge. But right now, though, because my time is so limited, being self-aware and mindful in my everyday life has been the biggest factor in looking after my mental health.

What do you want CRYSC athletes to know about mental health?

You live your whole life inside of your brain, so make it a really really good place to be.

Why is it important to talk about mental health?

It’s important because a lot of people don’t focus on it; they focus more on the physical aspects of life in general and not the mental emotional side. Especially because we work with young children, it’s important to draw attention to it so we can help them find resources and support through all aspects of their lives.

Why should athletes, specifically, care about mental health awareness and action?

Back when I played, 10 – 15 years ago, mental health wasn’t even on anyone’s radar. As someone who focuses on my mental health now, I realize that there are experiences I had when I was a kid playing soccer that I didn’t know how to work through, then, and now shape who I am as an adult. It’s hard when you’re in this environment; pressure, play time, coach reactions to mistakes, parents yelling on the sideline, those things seem so little but can actually be really detrimental. So I think if we talk about these pieces and how they can impact mental health, we can shape the landscape a little better for our kiddos.

What do you do to look after your own mental health?

Therapy for sure has been game changing for me. What’s also been really helpful to me in the workplace, especially this time of year, is asking for help and saying no. Lately my main focus has been on self-care; I’ll get my hair done, get my nails done. I go on thirty minute walks every day to get outside. I practice a lot of positive self-talk and work to channel my nurturing voice. In my life right now I’ve had a hard time and lost a lot of love around things like playing soccer and working out, so it’s really about taking baby steps and giving myself grace and being kind to myself.

What do you want CRYSC athletes to know about mental health?

That it is important, and that it doesn’t have to be reactive. We focus so much on when something goes wrong, then I need to get help. I’ve seen that in myself, too. But things don’t have to be going really wrong for us to focus on ourselves and our emotional well-being. We can, and should, be proactive in doing that too!

Why is it important to talk about mental health?

I’ve always thought it’s a really important aspect of life in general, and I don’t think people talk about it enough. Some people even see going to therapy as a sign of weakness or something like that, but I actually go to therapy and I’m very open about it, because I want everyone else to be comfortable sharing their experience, because mental health is sometimes really hard to improve on your own, and having poor mental health can affect every aspect of your life. So that’s why I’m pretty passionate about it.

Why should athletes, specifically, care about mental health awareness and action?

Athletes go through things that non-athletes don’t go through. Soccer is a big way to relieve stress, but also the higher levels you get to soccer becomes more stressful. So it’s important that athletes are able to talk about that. Another thing we don’t talk about enough is how hard it can be when you’re done with sport. I ended my college career in October, and the transition has been really tough. Soccer has been my main focus since I was three. You go from being an athlete everyday and with a team everyday and it’s gone right away. It was a bit of an identity crisis; figuring out what to do in my life, other things I enjoy, even how to make friends. A lot of people go through it, but we don’t talk about how hard it is. It’s harder than people think, and it’s really important to know while you are playing that you are someone outside of soccer and that you have other interests.

What do you do to look after your own mental health?

In addition to therapy, I still play soccer, because I know it’s important to me. Self-affirmations are big for me, now. I have two statements that I use so when I’m thinking something negative I have a positive statement that I truly do believe about myself and try to look at that instead. I journal a lot. At one point I had so much going on in my brain, and setting aside time before bed to journal allowed me to just get those thoughts out which was really helpful. I’ve been telling my friends to at least give it a try. I know it can be hard to set aside time, but I knew I needed to make it a priority because if I didn’t journal I was going to be stuck in this very negative mental space and then tomorrow was going to be another bad day because I hadn’t gotten all of these things out of my mind. So, while some things could wait until tomorrow, journaling wasn’t one of them at that point.

What do you want CRYSC athletes to know about mental health?

It’s ok to talk to people about your problems. Guys, especially: We tend to not talk to people about our problems, and we should! Your friends, your coach, anybody – find somebody to talk to. It’s so good to do. And then, at the end of the day you have to be the one to help yourself, so be willing to do that work and show up for yourself.

Why is it important to talk about mental health?

Honestly, because of how pervasive it is. It is a real issue that people deal with and the more it’s talked about, the more the subject is normalized, the more people are able to come to terms with the ways in which they grapple with their own mental health. If it’s not normalized, then it’s tougher to talk about it, and if it’s tougher to talk about then it becomes tougher to deal with.

Why should athletes, specifically, care about mental health awareness and action?

Functionally, there’s a big correlation between mental health and positive performance. On a more humanistic note, it’s relevant in sport because of how easily it can be overshadowed by the other objectives that sport presents. For instance, we’re going through tryouts right now in our club, and there are a lot of things on people’s minds, and things getting magnified, that in small cumulative ways are affecting mental health for players and families. I’m a big proponent of what you give your attention to is what tends to grow, so if we give our collective attention to the anxiety-provoking, are you good enough, are you better than, aspects of performance at this time of year in particular, then that’s what we’re going to yield. If you make space for talking about and considering mental health, then we’ll reap the positive benefits of doing so.

What do you do to look after your own mental health?

As a matter of best practice, I’ve seen a counselor for a long time and also have a spiritual director. One of the things I’ve been made attuned to in recent history is that taking care of oneself from a corporeal, physical standpoint is hugely important. Exercise for me is a non-negotiable. Paying attention to nutrition. Being a new father, taking time to rest and building naps into my schedule is a really big thing. So, while I have some internal things I do as well, paying attention to that physical aspect has become really important for me.

What do you want CRYSC athletes to know about mental health?

Don’t create a dichotomy between your performance and mental health. These are not two things that need to be separate. It’s not like, hey go perform over here and on the side take care of your mental health. Understand that your performance is wrapped up with your mental health, and to take care of one in the truest sense is to take care of the other.